Personal Reflection

While I was getting ready to go tutor, I caught a few minutes of Oprah before I left the house. There was this guy (Phil Keoghan) on talking about living life to the fullest after his near death experience. He said, "If you don't know what you want out of life, then how can you possibly go and live the biggest possible life that you can? Are you living the life of your dreams? If you were to take your last breath at 3 p.m. tomorrow, what would you regret not doing?"

I only had the t.v. on for background noise but what Phil said got my attention. As I was driving (in 5 o'clock Atlanta traffic) to my student's house, I had a lot of time to think about what Phil said. I know what I want out of life but out of fear I am not living the best life that I can. If I were to take my last breath at 3 p.m. tomorrow, I have a few things that I would really regret not doing. They are not things like: go to graduate school, buy a house, lose weight, climb a mountain or see the world. They are things on a deeper, more personal level (sorry - not to be mentioned on my blog).

Tonight I had a conversation with a friend that just reinforced everything Phil had said. I have always been someone who "plans for the future" or "was prepared to deal with the worst possible outcome". I was raised to be self-sufficient and independent. But I have realized that I used the previously stated things as an excuse to avoid difficult situations. By living a life with stiff guidelines, preparing for the worst and over analyzing most every decision I made......well I wasn't really living.

Now I have decided not to let fear control my life...