This sucks. The reality of the past two weeks is finally setting in. I feel sad all the time, like I am walking around in a fog. I am trying to stay busy with my 2nd job at Archivers and spending time with my friends. I go back to work on August 1st. I think being around all the kids might be kinda hard. I have been on a cleaning/organizing frenzy tonight. I can't stop. It's really hard to look at pictures of my brother. I won't be scrapping any of those pictures for a while. My stepmom was supposed to have her 2nd surgery today. I can't get a hold of anyone in Florida so I am not sure how things are going. My friend Karen got engaged to her boyfriend Tyler this past week. I know she is super excited!
Some things I learned about death/funerals:
1. family members will fight, a lot, over stupid, insignificant things
2. family members will say/do hurtful things during a time of sorrow, whether it's intentional or not
3. as cliche as it is, you really never know when it's your time or someone else's time to go
4. i never saw a dead body before seeing my brothers, it was cold and looked just like one of those "people" you would see in a wax museum
5. the grieving process sucks
6. people who say "let's celebrate so and so's life" to someone who just lost someone close to them, need to be hit
12 years ago
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4 comments:
Tiffany,
So sorry for your loss. What amazed me most about the death of my father was the abundance of really ignorant and insensitive remarks people made. I know it's a struggle trying to find something comforting and deep to say to someone who has lost a loved one, but often what they choose is more offensive than anything else. And they behave like morons, quite often. People just aren't going to give you the respect and courtesy you need, no matter how tragic the situation. It's disappointing at the very least and often infuriating, but, I'm sorry to say, it won't end with the services. I've found friends and family, coworkers, neighbors and anyone who is around me and aware of my father's death, can and do continue to say the most ridiculous things. You just have to believe that they aren't intentionally hurtful, just unintentionally ignorant. That's the only excuse I can come up with for the bad behavior surrounding a death.
Good luck to you and try not to hate the people who offend you.
You're in my thoughts.
Thank you so much for the kind words. It really means a lot.
what an asshole...why would you say something like that to someone who just lost her brother?!?!
tiff, girl...i'm so sorry you are going through this. wish i could make it better, but i can't. but, i'm sending good thoughts your way and another hug
{{{hug}}}
OH I told you it really doesn't hit you until after the funerals and such are done. You are on your own and kind of like okay what do I do now. Unfortunately the pain really never goes away. It subsides of course so you can function but holidays, birthdays, or even movies sometimes makes you break down in tears. Don't worry sweetie you are not alone. It is definatly an experience of life but you will be okay.
For me, I can't listen to Elvis without puddling up. My dad loved Elvis and could even play some of his songs on his guitar. I even have baby videos of him singing some of them to me and me repeating him...One For The Money, Two For the Show, Three to get ready..Go Go Go. So every time I hear a song I try to have a conversation with someone in the room so I dont hear it or just try to turn it off. It is hard but again you are not alone in your feelings. Hang in there..it won't go away but it will get easier with time.
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